FAFHRD & THE MOUSER
SAY THEIR SAY

by Fritz Leiber

I tried to explain to Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser about
wargamers and the game of Lankhmar.

“You mean they’re using our territory to fight in?” the
Mouser demanded. “We ought to charge ‘em toll or tariff, ambushing
those who refuse to pay.”

I tried some more.

“Oh, so they fight only with their minds?” Fafhrd said.
“That sounds sick to me. I keep my mind solely for enshrining the
images of beautiful women.”

“A sort of penny peep-show, eh?” the Mouser observed to
him. “Frix and her tricks, et cetera.”

“Say rather a temple,” Fafhrd replied decorously, with admirable
self-control.

“But about these wargamers or mind-fighters,” the Mouser
said, turning back to me. “I’ll wager some of ‘em aren’t above
using a real knife under the table, especially if the games goes
against ‘em.”

“A man could keep on playing a table game, though hamstrung,”
Fafhrd put in.

“Still, it would probably upset his judgment, don’t you
think?” the Mouser pointed out to him.

I kept on trying, explaining that the wargamers wanted to
know about the geography and terrains of the World of Nehwon
and which earth soldiers most resembled in weapons and tactics
the warriors of the various chief lands of Lankhmar. At one time
the Mouser wanted me to call in Karl Treuherz, suggesting that
being a German and inevitably scholarly he had probably written
an encyclopedia of Nehwon to match his Lankhmarese-German
German-Lankhmarese dictionary. (Karl is the third German —
or person of any sort, excluding some of the Devourers and the
pryings of Alyx the Picklock — to have penetrated Nehwon, the
others being myself and Harry Otto Fischer, widely revered inventor
of the two characters. (Treuherz’ adventures are in The
Swords of Lankhmar.) But I perservered and we finally agreed on
the following points (of course, data about my own books in
English I had to supply mostly by myself):

All Nehwon lands that I‘ve been told of use the sword, spear,
bow and sling. The Lankhmarts rely chiefly on the spear or pike
(along with the sword, of course) and prefer the sling to the bow.
They may be likened to the Romans or be thought of as, if I may
use such a term, southern medievals.

The men of the Eight Cities like the spear too, but favor the
bow. They are like Germans, Swedes, or — again, pardon —
northern medievals.

As for the Eastern Lands, think of Saracens, Arabs, Parthians,
Assyrians even. They ride the camel and elephant, and use
the bow extensively.

Mingols, unsurprisingly, are much like Mongols — the swift
squadrons of Ghenghis Khan or Tamerlane. The horse, of course,
and the bow above all other weapons. While the Northern Mercenaries
use spear and sword exclusively; Quarmallians make
that the sword and sling.

The only map of Nehwon I know of, most reliable in its central
and southern (bottom) portions, was first sketched out and
drawn by Martha McElroy (Mrs. Harry Fischer), redrawn by
another for Amra, and that redrawing reproduced, somewhat
simplified, in the Ace The Swords of Lankhmar and in the
French and German translations, where the Cold Waste becomes
Deserts Froids and Eis-Ode respectively. This shows only a section
of the northern hemisphere, showing longitudinally about
one sixth of the circumference of the planet (or globular vacuity)
and going from the north pole no farther south than the northern
tropic. Exactly where Klesh is one asks in vain.

It must always be remebered that I know no more of Nehwon
than I have put into my stories. There are no secret volumes of
history, geography, etc., written before the tales themselves were
spun. I rely wholly on what Fafhrd and the Mouser have told me,
testing them against each other, and sifting out exaggerations
and lies when I must. And while my conferences with the Twain
have been rewarding, they also have been fewer than I’d wish. I
have handled no little books of Ningauble or scrolls or Srith.

For the lands east of the Sea of Monsters, much can,
be discovered from the stories written since the map was drawn.
Much can especially be discovered from the tales “The Circle
Curse” (in Swords Against Death as published by Ace, of course,
as have been all five Swords books) and “Trapped in the
Shadowland” (in The Year's Best Fantasy Stories, edited by Lin
Carter, DAW, newly published). The Shadowland, abode of
Death and said to contain what some call Nehwon’s death pole,
lies east of the Sea of Monsters. Beyond it, still farther east, is the
strange land of Eevamarensee, where mankind and domestic
animalkind are alike hairless, but whether this betokens an advanced
civilization or decadence only, I know not.
 
 

At the antipodes from the Shadowland somewhere in the
otherwise unknown southern continent(s) there is said to lie Godsland,
abode and paradise of at least some but perhaps not all of
the gods of Nehwon and containing that world’s life pole (distinct
of course from its rotational pole, just as with earth’s rotational
and magnetic poles). Evidence for this is found in the story “Under
the Thumbs of the Gods,” to date published only in the April
1975 issue of the magazine Fantastic, a treasurehouse of D & D
material.

In my newly published (DAW, Sept. 1975) book The Second
Book of Fritz Leiber there is a Fafhrd-Mouser story of some
length, “Trapped in the Sea of Stars.” In it the Twain seek to sail
to the southern continent(s) and encountering the Great
Equatorial Current fail in their attempt, but appear to make
some astonishing discoveries about the astronomy of Lankhmar,

And in the soon-to-be-published Flashing Swords: #3,
editied by Lin Carter (Dell) there is a sizeable Fafhrd-Mouser
novelette, “The Frost Monstreme,” launching a new cycle of their
adventures. In it we learn of Rime Isle, a large northern island in
the Outer Sea, inhabited by men who appear to be of Fafhrd’s
breed at least as to size and situated due west of the Claws and
due north of Simorgya (for which see “The Sunken Land” in
Swords Against Death).

As I regretfully parted from the Twain (somewhere in the
caverns of Ningauble, of course, for they’re the only place I know
of where Nehwon and other worlds link — see “Adept’s Gambit”
in Swords in the Mist) Fafhrd remarked, “Don’t forget Stardock
when you write for these wargamers — a whole vast Dungeon inside
Nehwon’s mighiest mountain, with routes both on the mountain
and inside it.”

“Better yet Quarmall, and not half as chilly,” the Mouser
in eagerly. “A vasty underground world of many levels, a nation
in the mines! There’s a Dungeon would send wargamers ape!”
(They were referring to sub-worlds of Nehwon described in
Swords Against Wizardry.)

Taking fire from them, I called back, reciting the following:
A PROPOSAL FOR AN ADDITIONAL
PIECE AT LANKHMAR
    THE MAN (WOMAN, rather)
        Each player has also a Houri.
    WEAPONS
        Each player has also two Daggers.
    MOVES, POWERS, AND INTERACTIONS
        A Houri has six movement points.

An Enemy Soldier three or fewer spaces from a Houri must
move directly toward her. If in range of two or more Houris he
must move toward the nearest, whether enemy or friend. If
equidistant from two or more Houris, he may not move at all.

A Hero three or fewer squares from an Enemy Houri has his
powers halved, but he may move as he will. A Houri may wield
only a Dagger, though she may carry other weapons.

A Dagger has the same range as a Sword, but it can kill only
a Houri or a Hero.

A Houri may be killed only be a Hero or another Houri.
 
 

During my recitation I had been moving away from them,
already caught in the time eddy that would (alas!) irresistibly
carry me back to my own world and (ugh!) typewriter.

Fafhrd shouted faintly, “Are Houris slimly beautiful?”

“So much so,” I yelled back, “that they make all men their
helpless slaves and intoxicate even a Hero to madness.”

“I don’t like the idea,” came the Mouser’s ghostly shout.
“Women are ever treacherous and complicate any game to the
point of sheerest insanity.”

“That’s the idea,” I bellowed back.

I caught only one more shout — from Fafhrd. I think it was,
“What color is a Houri’s hair?”