As anyone that has ever played D&D or EPT can tell you, you
must have dice, lots of dice to do the job efficiently.
It's twenty minutes before the members of the U.B.A. (Union of
Bold Adventurers) are due to arrive on your doorstep, fully primed
for
a rousing adventure in your ruins. The fridge is full of soda and
beer,
the kitchen table is groaning under the weight of a veritable horde
of
munchies, the chairs are all set out, Rick Wakeman's Journey
to the
Center of the Earth and Myths and Legends . . . of King
Arthur . . . albums are cued on the stereo, all your rules
and levels are
neatly arranged behind your screen of WS&IM boards (best use
found
for them to date), when that first flash of panic sets in ? your
brand
new chamois/suede/velvet/whatever bag containing all your dice is
missing! Your shouts of anguish elicit from your wife/mother/roomie/
whatever the horrendous news that they were last seen in the slobbering
jaws of Rover/Fido/Spot/Killer/whatever, and he was last seen
heading for his favorite spot under/behind/in back of/the stairs/-
stove/couch/porch/whatever. After locating the miscreant, and dragging
him forth from his lair, you are horrified to find shards of diceplastic
all over his face, and an unrecognizable pile of multi-colored
plastic junk amidst the remains of your bag, which seems to have
been
mistaken for his chew-toy.
After the air changes back from blue to invisible, and you?ve already
considered and rejected at least three dozen fiendish and hideous
indignities that could be committed to/on a dog, the real horror
sets in.
At any minute, 4/7/9/however -- many fully primed UBA members
will be clamoring to explore your ruins. The mere thought of having
to
tell them that the game is off would have caused Audie Murphy to
pause and consider the possibilities -- a group of rampaging UBAers
could make the group that stormed Baron Frankenstein's castle look
like a Sunday Tea at the Methodist Ladies Club.
If the preceding tale of woe sounds familiar then this article is for
you. After months of painstaking research, a number of alternatives
to
dice have been compiled. Herewith are a few of them:
PERCENTAGES GENERATED
WITH TWO STANDARD DICE (D6)
The following table is from FIGHT IN THE SKIES. The column
on the left is percentages and numbers needed to get them, while the
figures on the right are the actual probabilities. (I.E., if there
is a 10%
chance of an encounter, a roll of “9” indicates that it occurs. The
actual
percentage chance of rolling a “9” with two standard dice is 11.1%
.)
| 5% | 11 | 5.6% |
| 10% | 9 | 11.1% |
| 15% | 6 | 13.9% |
| 20% | 7, 12 | 19.4% |
| 25% | 4, 7 | 25.0% |
| 30% | 7, 8 | 30.6% |
| 35% | 2, 4, 5, 6 | 36.1% |
| 40% | 5, 6, 8 | 38.9% |
| 45% | 6, 7, 8 | 44.4% |
| 50% | 4, 5, 6, 7 | 50.0% |
| 55% | 5, 6, 7, 8 | 55.6% |
| 60% | 3, 5, 6, 7, 8 | 61.6% |
| 65% | 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 | 63.9% |
| 70% | 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 | 69.4% |
| 75% | all except 2, 3, 4, 10 | 75.0% |
| 80% | all except 2, 4, 10 | 80.6% |
| 85% | all except 3, 11, 12 | 86.1% |
| 90% | all except 9 | 88.9% |
| 95% | all except 11 | 94.4% |
CALCULATORS
Many of the newer and more complex calculators, such as the TISR51-
A have various function switches that will display random numbers
when pressed either singly or in certain combinations. Because of
the great diversity in calculators, you are advised to check the instructions
to determine how, or if, yours will do it.
CUTTING CARDS
A standard deck of playing cards can be used to generate nearly
any number; 1-4(suits) 1-12(ace low and Kings draw again), 1-6(same
as
preceding, divided by two), 1-10(faces don’t count), and so on.
NUMBERED STRAWS
Rather self-explanatory, don’t you think?
WATCH WITH SECOND HAND
A watch with a second hand can generate the following sequences:
1-4(quadrant method), 1-6(divide by 10), 1-12(read numeral that second
hand is closest to), 1-15(divide minutes by four), 1-20(divide by
three), 1-30(divide by two), and 1-60. A stopwatch is even better for
this purpose.
SPINNERS
There are any number of children’s and family games that use a
spinner, using many different ranges.
USING SIX-SIDERS FOR HIGHER NUMBERS
One six-sided die can be used to determine any number range divisible
by two, three or six. (I.E., for 1-100, first roll determines if it
is between
1 and 50, or 51-100, the second 1-25 or 26-50 (assuming first roll
indicates 1-50), the third determines in which group of five (discarding
rolls of “6”), and the last the actual number.)
COIN FLIPPING
Similar to the preceding. NOTE: in an obscure study financed by
a
government grant, it was conclusively proven that the dime is the
ideal
coin to flip. The heavier coins have a greater incidence of injuries
to the
nail-bed on the thumb after 40,000 flips or more. Of course. this
excludes
the silver and half dollar. which can bung-up your thumb much
sooner than that.
PHONE BOOK AND BLINDFOLD
The player/judge covers his eyes and opens a copy of his phone
book and points his finger. Some house rules prevent the use of address
numbers, while others recognize both address and phone numbers.
LAZY SUSAN DARTBOARD
A wooden Lazy Susan is required, as well as darts and several
sheets of stock listings from a newspaper. To use this method, affix
one
of the stock listings to the surface of the Lazy Susan. There are two
methods of using a Lazy Susan in this manner; one requires that it
be
fixed to the wall, the other doesn’t. In any event, the L-S is spun,
and a
dart either thrown at, or dropped on, it; the number skewered is your
number.
CLASSIC GRECO-ROMAN AUGURY METHOD
This system counts the birds that fly by. It is NOT useful in areas
having large concentrations of starlings, or in waterfowl flyway areas
in spring and autumn. It is also inconvenient after dark.
MOUSE IN A MAZE
This system uses mice in a maze, with numbered reward areas. All
you need is a little plywood and a couple dozen half starved mice or
rats. (If you make the reward too large, each mouse or rat is only
good
for one or two trips before satiation. If you use too little, the mice
will
just say to hell with it.
MASO/MACHO DELIGHT
This system requires that the players all be males with hirsute
chests. Using this system, the players snatch hairs from each other’s
chests, using the number of hairs as the number generated. If the number
snatched exceeds the top of the range, use the remainder as the
number. Using this system, when your opponent gets all the lucky numbers
necessary to completely destroy your army, it REALLY hurts.
NUMBERED JUMPING BEANS
This system uses Mexican jumping beans as number generators.
Each bean is marked, and all the beans are chilled to precisely 47
°F. At
the start of the game, the beans are dropped into an aluminum pan on
top of a hotplate. When a number is needed, the next bean that jumps
is
it.
This practice was finally discredited by an organization known as
“Frijoles Nacionale”, an obscure collection of misfits, misanthropes
and bean freaks formed in the late 1930’s in Mexico to stop bean jokes,
considering them offensive to beans. Prior to their success, yet another
pressure group tried to outlaw the use of jumping beans. Calling themselves
the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Larvae, they spent
thousands of dollars in their futile efforts. Think about it; would
you
listen to someone that represented a group such as the SPCL? (Well,
you have read this far, so don’t be too smug.)
The practice has died out in all but two areas; the northeastern US
and among the Vapid Indians of the Mojave Desert. The former is considered
a local, cultural aberration, while the latter is attributed to the
low average IQ of a Vapid Indian.
