The ?What?s New?? Dragon (also known
as the Mauve Dragon, or the Big Pain in
the Expletive Deleted) is a rare creature
indeed in the AD&D® game world. Because
of its characteristics and general behavior,
however, it is not much missed. It stands
roughly waist high and resembles a short,
light purple, fire-breathing dragon, with the
head of a cow wearing a puzzled expression.

According to legend, the ?What?s New??
Dragon was created when a drunken archmage attempted to crossbreed a red dragon,
a blue dragon, a cow, and a small terrier
dog he had handy, ?Just to show ?em!? The
resulting animal (using the term loosely)
promptly torched the wizard?s lab and flew
away. The archmage later gave up magic
and drinking, as well as a few other vices he
was indulging in at the time, and became a
hermit monk.

The ?What?s New?? Dragon, named for
some pages in an ancient tome that first
described the beast, does not have a lair.
The chance of catching it while it is asleep
or unawares is so low that players could just
as well throw their dice off the table rather
than try to roll for it. Instead, the dragon
will simply wander onto the scene at the
DM?s discretion and investigate any loud
noises, such as those made by the average
party of adventurers in chainmail and platemail armor.

Upon arrival, the dragon will announce
its presence by voicing its call, ?Growf!?
(pronounced ?growf? or ?growph?). This
could mean many things, since it is the only
word in the dragon?s language. This call
will be repeated for 1-6 rounds, after which
(unless somebody answers the call with
another ?Growf!?) the dragon will use its
breath weapon on whatever targets are
handy.

Its breath weapon is not unlike that of a
red dragon?s, with a few notable differences.
It forms a cone of fire extending 30? from
the dragon?s mouth; the cone?s base is 15?
in diameter. The fiery blast lasts for half a
segment (3 seconds) and only affects nonliving objects. Flammable items struck by
the magical breath (such as clothes, backpacks, arrows, etc.) will automatically smolder and burn, falling into ashes; strangely
enough, the dragon?s breath causes its
victims to magically resist the flames, and
no harm will come to people so affected ?
though embarrassment is possible. (?What
happened to your loincloth, o mighty barbarian??) Magical items are allowed a
saving throw vs. magical fire.

Metallic items will not burn, but nonmagical metals will automatically melt into
slag (again, without harm coming to anyone
touched by it). Once the breath ends, the
metal will have magically cooled so that,
while hot to the touch, it will not cause
injuries. Getting out of a suit of melted
platemail, however, could prove difficult
without a can opener.

Despite its annoying habits, lack of intelligence, and homeliness, the ?What?s
New?? Dragon has one peculiar ability that
allows it to survive all it meets. It is able to
invoke a condition known as ?DM?s
Grace,? an annoying streak of unkillability
brought about by incredible twists of fate
and a snickering DM. Spells cast at the
dragon are dispelled mere inches away from
it, weapons miss it no matter  how  skilled
the wielder is, and thieves always step on a
squeaky board when creeping up on it (even
in the outdoors). After about ten minutes of
this nonsense, the dragon will get tired of
the party and leave.

The worst thing that characters can do is
to submerge the ?What?s New?? Dragon in
water, for it will then appear to multiply in
number as if a  mirror image  spell had been
cast upon it. The ?images? are real, however, and the dragon will produce multiples
of itself at a rate of 1-4 per round for the
duration it is kept in water. Splashing water
upon it will automatically produce 1-4
multiples of the dragon, all of them identical to the original. Watering a ?What?s
New?? Dragon is considered a felony in
most kingdoms, punishable by being made
to swim a froghemoth?s pond armed with a
putty knife.

No experience will be gained from attacking a ?What?s New?? Dragon, and those
who try it should have their wrists slapped
by a fire giant.
 

Dragon

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Monsters

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Dragon #59