The following text was
extracted and rewritten from
the
secret diary of Hortus the Floriculturist
by an unidentified
associate and confidant.
Hortus shut the door
softly behind him. He rested his
frame against the door and
closed his eyes to drink in the
earthy scents, his lips curling in
a satisfied smile. His eyes, eyes
that seemed to burn with the fire
of unquenchable wisdom and
power, opened slowly to feast
upon the scene before him.
Within the greenhouse he was
the creator. He held the power of
life and death ? and more ? he
held their secrets. They were his
brides in the act of creation,
companions in the womb, awaiting
the loving manipulation of
this architect extraordinaire.
Around him lay his progeny,
the products of his love, wisdom,
and power. Hortus knelt on one
knee in supplication to his children,
and lovingly caressed the
bed in which they were nurtured
. . . the bed they shared with
their mother. Long had he toiled
in that bed, his sweat mingling
with their mother, the earth,
mother of all living things.
Slowly, relentlessly, he had
unlocked and unraveled the
secrets of the virgin territory.
Patience, discipline, perseverance,
and most of all knowledge
had prevailed. The rewards were
greater than his most outlandish
fantasies, than his most outrageous
intellectual expectations.
He had tapped The Source.
He owned The Source. He was
the master; The Source moved
and flowed to his dictate. The
fruit of his genius swayed and
chattered about him. He had
shaped the very essence of their
beings to suit his needs and
whims. Their forms were of his
will, their colors of his desire. He
had ruthlessly woven the fabrics
of life into patterns of his choosing.
The warp and woof were
wed in organic tapestries to
please his eyes.
He had dedicated a lifetime to
perfecting the design of his children.
And his lifespan was not
that of an ordinary mortal; it
was not measured in years or
decades but measured in eons.
But alas, he was not immortal.
Fall had long since passed
through his elan vital. The chill
eternal winter was settling within
his bones like the first snowfall of
an ice age. The light blazed but
the flame flickered.
There would be no more
springs in his life. Or would
there?
Something precipitous awaited
Death's arrival. If Hortus had
his way, which was inevitable,
Death would depart grasping
sand. He could not, he would
not, resign himself to the finality
of the Stygian crossing. Soon his
mortal shell would crumble like
the leaves beneath his window,
but the esoteric essence, his
being, would continue . . .
within his creations. . . .
At the instant of death, his
physical brain would be removed
from his skull like a seed from its
pod and carefully fed, along with
some magic of alchemy, to a
selected few of his spawn. His
mind, his thoughts, his life
would coinhabit their magical
hybridized forms. His life form
would continue for eternity in a
symbiotic marriage with these
plants through this synthesis of
science and metaphysics.
His protégés, those few rare
beings with whom he had shared
his trust and his secrets, would
each take one of the twelve
plants that he had entrusted with
his soul. Those trustees would
protect and nurture these
charmed flora/fauna, and in
return would reap any and all of
Hortus's wisdom at their beckoning.
Immortality would be his
. . . at a very high cost.
Sometime during the
second
millennium of the Age of
Magic and Enlightenment,
field, or jungle. Some have been
observed to be in the care of
certain reclusive magicians and
clerics. No trace has ever been
found of Hortus's 12 apostelic
custodians. Rumors persist.
On the following pages is a
brief botanical encyclopedia of
the bizarre but fascinating flora/fauna
engineered by the genius
of Hortus the Horticulturalist.
This article and accompanying
artwork are
dedicated to the memory
of Steve Arnold, and to
Gail and Buffy, who survive
to perpetuate his
ideals and spirit.
-- Jack Crane
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Beebalm is a perennial,
herbivorous, chaotic good species
found world wide, although
one particularly aggressive variety
is rumored to inhabit some
tropical zones. Beebalm creatures
are easily agitated, but just
as easily subdued with the use of
smoke or other irritants. The
queens are free to fly until mating,
whereupon they take root
for the remainder of their lives.
The eggs of the workers develop
in the comb/flower structure
and become free-flying in
adult form for the duration of
their lives. Their lives are spent
caring for and feeding newly
developing eggs, larvae, and
pupae. Reports of old, incredibly
large hive formations have been
noted throughout the world, and
some hives have been successfully
domesticated for the commercial
value of the abundant
nectar produced by the plants
and the workers.
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BUTTERFLY FLOWER
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Butterfly flowers are annual,
chaotic/good, omnivorous
caterpillars/herbivorous adults,
found in tropical and temperate
zones. Hundreds of variations on
this species exist world wide,
each mimicking the true insect
specimens native to that particular
region. By luring pure strain
butterflies into futile mating
attempts, butterfly flowers trick
them into carrying pollen from
one flower to another, thus aiding
butterfly flowers with necessary
pollination and seed
dissemination.
Young butterfly flowers are
totally ambulatory and possess
ravenous appetites. They ultimately
attach themselves in greatnumbers
to the stalks of sturdy
plants, whereupon they metamorphose
into immobile adults.
During the final days of the
adult life cycle, males and the
egg-bearing females break free of
their bonds, and glory in a momentary
burst of freedom. For
this span of time the creatures
exhibit a strange sensitivity to
strong magical auras. When this
occurs, hundreds or thousands of
the beauties may be seen homing
in on magical caches or beings
that may be many miles away.
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Catnip is an annual (appears
perennially in tropical and
subtropical regions), carnivorous,
evil hybrid. It is also very
prolific, bearing seeds every four
to six weeks under ideal conditions.
Catnip has a mild narcotic
effect on all mammals, but is
neither addictive nor habit forming.
While under its effect, animals
will display enhanced vision
and stealth and rather eccentric
or even obsessive sanitary habits.
Effects vary with dosage and
time.
Catnip will never be found
near horehound.
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Cobra orchids are perennial,
herbivorous, evil creatures
primarily found in tropical and
subtropical zones, although they
are occasionally found in protected
areas in temperate zones.
A cobra orchid bite may or may
not be fatal, depending on the
whim of the creature. The poison
may be extracted from one
much like it would from a true
serpent.
Like the snake vine, cobra
orchids Propagate through the
dispersal of egglike seeds in early
spring to late fall in temperate
zones, and year round in tropical
and subtropical zones or when
cultivated indoors. The newly
hatched young are completely
mobile until they shed their first
skins, at which time they burrow
their tails into the soil and take
root for the rest of their lives.
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Cowslips are perennial,
herbivorous, good creatures
found in tropical, subtropical,
and temperate zones. Appropriately
named, cowslips exude
large amounts of a slippery,
odorous resin that collects in
deep pools around the creatures.
Below each flower small pouches
form containing a palatable
milky substance. The existence
of this species is proof that Hortus
did indeed possess a sense of
humor.
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Dandelions are annual (also
appear perenially through the
widespread dispersal of prolific
seeds) chaotic/evil carnivorous
creatures. They are fearsome
creatures of great stealth and
determination that will surprise
even the most battle-hardy warrior
with their cunning fighting
ability and tenacity.
The young kittens are scattered
by seeds and take root
immediately upon striking fertile
soil, where they stay for the
remainder of their lives.
Dandelions do not grow near
horehound.
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Foxglove is a perennial,
omnivorous, neutral species
found in the pastures, glens, and
deep forests of temperate zones.
Foxglove is an unusually shy
species that is difficult to find,
and even more difficult to capture
or handle. Foxglove sap
may be used as an herb to stimulate
hearts.
Foxglove will never be found
near horehound, and should not
be planted in close proximity to
it if cultivation is attempted.
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Horehoud is a perennial,
carnivorous, neutral species
found in all latitudes. Horehounds
have an uncanny sense
of smell, and are frequently used
in tracking or other olfactoryrelated
tasks. These creatures
also make excellent watch dogs,
and can easily alert their owners
to unusual sounds, scents, or
movements, although they are
frequently distracted by food.
Horehounds are often potted
and domesticated, but they will
never be found near the hybrids
foxglove, tiger lily, dandelion, or
catnip.
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Lamb's ear is a perennial,
herbivorours, good species found
in profusion throughout subtropical
and temperate zones. Fibers
from flower clusters are readily
spun and woven into fabrics
more durable, warm and prized
than those of ordinary wool. The
plant is tasty when broiled or
stewed, but few can bring themselves
to slaughter these gentle,
doe-eyes creatures. The sap is
often administered as a sleeping
potion.
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Parrot tulips are perennial,
herbivorous, neutral creatures
found in tropical and subtropical
regions only. They are known for
their brilliant plumage/petals.
Unlike a smartweed, a parrot
tulip is incapable of cognizant
endeavors, merely entertaining
itself by mimicking verbatim
anything within its hearing
range, including voices, noises,
or abstract sounds. It has a finite
memory limited to approximately
several short paragraphs
or 24 simple sentences. It is
useful in delivering short messages
or for eavesdropping.
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Smartweed is a perennial,
omnivorous, neutral hybrid
found world wide, including
cultivated and urban environments,
although rare. It may be
potted for outdoor or indoor
propagation with an incredible
variety of subspecies and hybrids
available, each capable of very
specialized mental disciplines.
Although the most valuable
and coveted of the entire plant/animal
hybrid mutations, this
species remains rare for 2
reasons. 1st, smartweed's
existence and habits are repressed
through a carefully
structured ogranization of
knowledgeable subversive
individuals. A closed circle of magick-users
and, more frequently,
clerics of higher intellectual
levels keep smartweed a fairly
well-guarded secret. 2nd,
each plant/animal possesses an
innate ability to camouflage and/or
mimic all other botanical
species. Smartweed is rarely seen
in its true form. Smartweeds
may occasionally be tricked into
revealing themselves through an
impulsive habit of correcting any
erroneous or inaccurate statements
made in close proximity.
A myth based on some historical
substance maintains that
12 very rare plants of this
species exist. It is further understood
that 12 caretakers of
unknown identities maintain
these rarities and retain a staggering
wealth of knowledge as a
result. The possession of
smartweed remains priceless.
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Snake vine is a perennial,
carnivorous, evil hybrid not to
be confused with the snake
gourd, an equally dangerous
predatory plant that frequents
vegetable gardens and flower
beds. A variety of this species
can be found in virtually all
forests, jungles, fields, and cities.
A snake vine crushes its prey
and swallows it whole, consuming
victims many times its own
size. The creature is anchored by
roots and tendrils originating
roughly in the middle of its body.
The tail contains the seeds/eggs,
and all creatures of the species
have the ability to reproduce.
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Snapdragons are perennial,
carnivorous, evil creatures found
in a rainbow of colors all over
the globe. They are capable of
extracting methane (swamp gas)
to be used as a defensive/offensive
weapon. The snapdragon
claims the honor of being the
most vicious, aggressive, and
dangerous of Hortus's mutations.
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Tiger lilies are a perennial,
carnivorous, chaotic evil hybrid
orginally discovered in Asia and
the New World (although they
now exist in many continents,
from temperate to equatorial
zones). Although rare, there is
even an albino winter-hardy
variety located in pockets of
the polar regions. Dispersal is
accomplished by transplantation
of rootstock, and does not occur
naturally, therefore human intervention
is essential in establishing
its wide range.
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W ormwood are perennial,
omnivorous neutral creatures
found in all latitudes. Although
they do not consume living
wood, wormwood have a penchant
for cured wood, leather,
fabrics, and both dead and living
flesh. With their rapacious appetite
they can destroy a building
in a day, a small boat in hours,
or a body in minutes. Only the
young are capable of motion,
until as pupae they bond to a
tree, cleverly dupheating its
leaves or external features. and
for all intents and purposes,
become part of the plant. Upon
maturity wormwood reproduce
through asexual reproduction,
and each spring during their
adult life they drop hundreds of
insatiable, winged young.
JULY 1984
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Why no numbers?
-
Dear Dragon:
In issue #87, you showed us the plant/animals
of Hortus, but you didn't tell us their attacks, hit
dice, armor class, etc. Will you please either send
me these facts, or put them in the next issue of
the magazine.
Eric Stauffer
Chadds Ford, Pa.
(Dragon #88)
“The legacy of Hortus” was not presented as a
cavalcade of new monster types for the AD&D®
game, but rather as a bit of entertainment that we
hoped would spark the imagination of anyone
who wanted to install these “beasts” into a gaming
envronment. In fact, we aren’t even sure that
we could come up with statistics that everyone
would find acceptable. (For instance, can you say
for sure how many hit points of damage it would
take to cut through the stalk of a cowslip?) Sorry,
but we can’t and won’t try to turn Hortus’s
creations into actual AD&D game monsters —
which gives you a golden opportunity to give
them the numbers that you think they should
have.
— KM
(Dragon #88)
