The ragged-looking band slowly made its way down the main street
One man, a powerfully built Fighter, stopped one of the townsfolk and
asked directions to the local Priest. “The Temple of Arioch is right at the
end of this street,” the old man answered. He indicated a large, ornate
building not 100 yards away.

“There goes another one,” the old man said to his companion,
nodding his head in the direction of the cloth-draped body which was
tied across one of the party’s mules.

The small group made its way to the temple, and, upon entering,
noticed a sign which read

    TEMPLE OF ARIOCH
    Dead Raised and Ressurected
    ______________________
    Prayers Prayed
    Flat Rates
    ***********************
    Exorcisms and Atonements
    by Appointment only

An Acolyte approached. “Can I help you?’ he asked. The adventurers
indicated the lifeless body of a Thief, and the young Cleric
nodded his understanding. “Come with me, please,” he said.

He led them past two Bishops who were leading a group of novices
in prayer and through a door in the rear which opened into a small
chapel with an altar flanked by two great candelabras. The Acolyte went
back through the door and returned in a few moments with an old,
anemic-looking man whom he introduced as Delmar, the High Priest,
Chief Honcho, Ph.D., LLD., and General Boss and Handyman. He
then backed out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

The group knelt respectfully and made the proper Holy signs. “We
beg the aid of your great wisdom and power,” said Herman, one of the
fighters. “A member of our party, a Thief and a longtime faithful
worshiper of Arioch, has been wounded unto death and we wish to
make the necessary sacrifices for her return to life.”

“You know the procedure,” said the Priest in a bored tone. “20,000
gold for a Raise Dead or 50,000 gold for a Resurrection. Toss the stiff on
the altar.”

Everything was prepared. The old man began praying loudly in a
language that none of the others understood. Nothing moved until the
once-dead body began to stir. The young lady rose from the altar. She
was an elf, and a pretty one at that.

The ritual over, the Priest stood up and faced the rest of the party. “I
have done some raising of the dead in my time,” he said, “but I have
never heard of anyone needing it done as often as this young lady.
Arioch’s minions tell me she has been killed three times in the last two
days! Would someone care to explain such an unusual occurence to an
old man?”

The members glanced at one another, and finally the Mage spoke.

“Good Sir, it is a fairly lengthy tale,” he said. “Perhaps we might
make ourselves more comfortable while I tell it?”

“Very well,” said the Priest, “let’s go to my place. I’ve got some wine
that will go well with the story.”

They were presently sitting in the rather sumptuous rooms of the old
Priest with wine and assorted edibles at hand, and the Wizard began his
tale.

*    *    *

“First of all, let me introduce our little group. The young lady is
Sharlene, a thief of no small ability, but rather unlucky. The young man
next to her is Butch, an inexperienced but talented fighter. Herman here
is the leader of our little band and a good fighter, but is inclined to rush
into things at times. I am the Wizard Gonzo, of the Ragone Elves, a
little-known tribe found mainly in the land of Shem.

“Our adventure began in the city of Bardston only three days ago.
The weather was fine and the signs were good. We had no trouble at all
the first day, but during that night, we were set upon by Anhkheg—four
of them! Butch was on watch, but they burrowed into the center of our
camp and attacked before he could awaken the rest of us. We managed
to kill them all, but not before Sharlene was mortally wounded and died.

Naturally, we were grief-stricken, but suddenly, she rose up, whole
again, and said, “I have seen my Lord Arioch, and, in exchange for all
my worldly .possessions and wealth, excepting only my magical sword,
He restored me to life.”

“Well, we could do naught but believe her and rejoice in her return.
The next day, we again set out and had gone no more than two hours’
journey when we met with an ambush!

“Sharlene, with the aid of her magic sword, was flying above, with
the fighters and myself walking below We had entered a goodly-sized
wood when we were hit by arrows from all sides. Sharlene was also
attacked from the treetops. She came to ground to aid us, and by
judicious use of my wands of lightning and fireballs, along with swords
and axes, we finally dispatched the fiends, destroying much of the wood
in the process. Luckily; there were no Druids in the area! Black Elves,
they were, and vicious! However, once again Sharlene had been dealt a
deadly blow and had succumbed to their attack”

At this point, Sharlene broke in.

“Yeah, I took the big bite for the second time! Floating around in
Limbo again! Well, I heard this big, bass voice saying, ‘Not you again!’ I
knew I had problems then! I’ll tell you, I dam near gave it up for real! ‘Oh
well,’ I says to myself, ‘I might as well take a shot at it’

“So I prayed and begged and groveled (I can grovel with the best of
‘em), and finally He says, ‘I was holding a full house, jacks over sixes,
and you gotta go and blow it again! And then you got the nerve to come
crying to me!’ I could tell he was definitely peeved. ‘Two million
worshippers in the world, and I had to draw you! You must think I’ve got
nothing to do but pick you up and dust you off eve y time you fall down
and go boom. That’s what we Gods put the Clerics in business for. Give
me that sword. ’ ”

“I was never so scared in my life. He was irate! He was steamin’ so
bad, they’ll have to fumigate that area of Limbo for a month! Well, that
sword was all I had left in the world, but I couldn’t use it in Limbo, and
bein’ dead, I couldn’t use in Parthon either. So I up and gave it to him.

“He took it and said, ‘If I ever have to see you again before the final
judgment, you can hang it up! You can count on being the third assistant
to the Chief Spitoon Cleaner for the rest of Eternity! Now, get out of
here!’ ”

“I’m here to tell ya, I got! In a flash, I was standin’ with my group
again. And talk about grateful—you can count on big donations from
me from now on.”

The Magician nodded sagely. “Anyway,” he went on, “we ran into
seven Ogres that afternoon, and, since they weren’t inclined to be
friendly at all, we fought them. All but one had been killed, when he cast
his spear into our midst, piercing the unfortunate Sharlene through the
heart and killing her on the spot!

“That brought us to you. You’ll probably be seeing a lot more of us
from now on, since I’m sure the unlucky Sharlene will not care to call on
Arioch personally any more. And, with her luck, she’ll need your
services again. Tell me, do you offer a group discount?”