We at TSR have heard several people express a desire for a system
which gives more realism and variety to the method for determining the
natural abilities of player characters in D&D. After minutes of exhaustive
research, we have come up with an optional system which is designed
to replace the old method of rolling three dice for each of a player’s
abilities. This system is guaranteed to make a player character conform
more to the abilities of the actual person owning them and will
provide a great variety in these abilities from person to person.

STRENGTH — To determine strength, go to a gym and military press
as much weight as you possibly can. Divide the number of pounds
you lifted by ten; the result is your strength rating.

INTELLIGENCE — To determine your intelligence, look up the results
of the most recent IQ test you have taken and divide the result
by ten. This number is your intelligence rating.

WISDOM — To determine your wisdom, calculate the average number
of hours you spend playing D&D or working on your D&D Campaign
in an average week. Subtract the resulting number from twenty
and this is your wisdom.

DEXTERITY — To determine your dexterity, go down to the track at
the local High School and run 440 yards. Subtract your time in seconds
from eighty, and the result is your dexterity rating.

CONSTITUTION — To determine your constitution, figure out the
number of consecutive number of months you have gone without
missing a day of school or work due to illness. The number of
months is equal to your constitution rating.

CHARISMA — To determine charisma, count up the number of times
you have appeared on TV or have had your picture printed in the
newspaper. Multiply this number by two, and the result is your charisma
rating.

In order to try out this system, I tested it by figuring my own ratings.
The results are interesting (I think?).
STRENGTH - 8
INTELLIGENCE - 12
WISDOM - 19
DEXTERITY- 4
CONSTITUTION - 9
CHARISMA - 14