Boy, did you ever stop to think what it takes to put out a
magazine? The deadlines, the phonecalls, the typing, the editing,
the layout, the paste-up, the shipping, the . . . People calling up: "I want
a copy of #1. " "Why didn't you print my article?" "When do I get
paid?" . . . And doing it all for tiny little paychecks that don't even
keep up with inflation . . . And having people ask you what you do
for a living and telling them you put out a game magazine and then
listening to giggles and remarks about Parcheesi.
Well, enough is enough! Today we clean out the bank account
("used bills in small denominations, please"), sell the company car
to Cousin Sid, make arrangements for the Midnight Office Supply
Co. to liquidate our typewriters and desks, and buy our tickets to the
Bahamas. Good-by, office; hello, beach!
It's been real . . . .
OUT IN LIMBO
Who's right?
Dear Dragon:
My brother and I are having an argument about your magazine that I hope you
can settle for us. He says that every article in
The Dragon is an official rule addition for
D&D, and every one of your variants and
other changes are supposed to be used in
everyone’s campaigns. Otherwise, he says,
why would a magazine print all that stuff? If
The Dragon didn’t want people to use the
official material, why would The Dragon
print it in the first place?
I say that’s ridiculous. Things printed in
The Dragon are just supposed to be used by
people if they want to use them. Besides, if
everyone used every variant, campaigns
would be so cluttered up with rules that
they would be unplayable.
So, now that you know both sides of the
story, who’s right?
Billy && Bobby
Billy is. --Editor
The chief thief
Dear Dragon:
Life has been pretty dull for me for the
last few years--until recently, when I discovered
D&D. Let me just sayt this about
that: Dungeons && Dragons has changed my
life, and I thought your readers would be
interested in my thoughts on the game.
Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I
am not a crook! But I am a Thief—and a
good one, too. Hiding in shadows and
listening at doors reminds me a lot of my
last full-time job. And in the specially designed dungeon at our house,
I can vanquish the great Congressmonster every day.
if I want to. It makes me feel really good
when I get a chance to save my little dwarf
friend, Bebe, from the clutches of Truth
and Honesty.
Also, while I think of it, would you
people be interested in some of my ideas
for DD&DD? I have a couple of old CIA files
that would take your dragon’s breath away.
That’s all for now. May you always
make your saving throw vs. Democrats!
Dick’s Dungeon
Crazy about us!
Dear Dragon:
I first saw your magazine several
months ago in my doctor’s office. The last
issue was so wonderful that I decided I
couldn’t wait any longer to write to you and
tell you what a terrific magazine you have.
I’m hard at work at the present time on a
module which I think you will be very interested in printing. It’s all about a dungeon
where all the walls are covered with some
sort of mysterious padding . . .
Stu Tumeny
State Hospital for the Harmlessly Insane
CONTENTS
FEATURES
Adding Nuclear Realism to AD&D— Edward Strangelove . . . . . 86
Random Generation of Random Numbers Randomly—
Phi/Fluke . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
Picking Numbers by Choice— “Slim” Chance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90
My Wife and Role-Playing— Ralph Latchbody . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91
Outdoor Adventures and the EPA— Ralph Nader. . . . . . . . . . . . 97
AD&D and the IBM System 370
The Ultimate $13.9 Million Playing Aid . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99
VARIANTS
Solo D&D for Two -- Jack "Schizo" Smith . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73
"By the Rulebook" AD&D . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .76
Novel new approach to AD&D -- E. Gay Giygax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
Mah Jongg/Gamma World
Far East meets the Far Future —Gary Ward . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78
Gamma World/Strip Poker
Far Future meets the Far Out —Jim Jaquet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80
Tekumel Scrabble
New “zwz” strategies —A’tukkaa Torisekiitrkewloc . . . . . . . . 81
BACKGROUND
The Great Spud Battle of Idaho . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96
REVIEWS
Sheepherders & Cattle Ranchers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101
Students&Guard. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .101
Lasers&Rocks. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103
Spitballs & Paperclips . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103
NEWS/VIEWS
TheWayISeeIt -- KimMohan. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111
If You Ask Me— Corey Koebemick . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117
They Took All the Good Titles— Jake Jaquet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121
Sage Advice
Question: My recipe for pork sausage seems to have a
mistake in it—it calls for four cups of sage. This amount
seems a little excessive. Could it be a misprint?
Answer: Yes, the recipe should call for four tablespoons of sage.
Question: I am interested in acquiring large amounts of
sage. Where should I look?
Answer: Try the yellow pages of your phone book. Look under
“Herb dealers—Sage”.
Question: In the folk song “Scarborough Fair” there is a
line that goes, “Parsley, something, rosemary, and thyme.”
What word am I missing?
Answer: Sage.
WHAT'S THE NAME OF YOUR GAME??
No matter what your preference or passion, you can get
the best in gaming merchandise--at prices you won't
believe--from Omar & Irvings Fantastic Traveling Flee
Market. Check out this month's Big Bargains.
From the Sorcerer's Scratch Pad: The actual note
paper used by Gary Gygax himself to compute the daily
increases in his bank balance. A real Steal! Sold in square-inch
increments, packaged securely, for only . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.95
No-Fail Randomizer: A dependable, easy way to
generate any random number from 1 through 2. Looks and
feels like an ordinary penny, ubt how could it be if we're selling
if for . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.00
No-Fail Randomizer, Mark II: The deluxe version of
our popular introductory model. What began as ordinary sand
has now been sized and weighed, grain by grain. Each set of
several thousand grains has been carefully matched for the
ultimate in randomness. To get a number -- any number -- just
grab a handful and count 'em for only . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $9.95
The Dragon #1: The premiere issue of the premier
magazine of games and gaming. One of a kind! This offer will
not be repeated! TD #1 will be sold at auction. Send sealed
bid and 5$ registration fee. *
Pencil of Poor Visibility: This is the ultimate in D&D
playing aids. To activate the powers of this specail implement,
don't sharpen it and write very small. The resultant scrawlings
will be decipherable to only you, and you can decipher 'em
any way you want for only . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6.49
The Next Threshold: DAD&D, developed by the
Omar & Irving Design Department, is the next logical--and
truly inspired---stage in the evolution of D&D. Detailed
Advanced Dungeons && Dragons adapts the game for playing
on the head of a pin--with figures you make yourself!!
Just add your imagination, after you pay us. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $15.95
* -- Auction will be help on April 1, 1996, at a location to
be determined on March 31, 1996. The highest bidder must
be present to claim the magazine.
WATCH OUT FOR NEW SPECIALS
every once in a while
from OMAR & IRVINGS FANTASTIC
TRAVELING FLEE MARKET
appearing soon (but not for long0 on a street corner near you.
A Visit to an Interesting Place
Mark Welch
The despot teacher had finally caught me.
I answered, “You want to hear a story about
an interesting place? I once had a visit to an
interesting place.
“I guess it all started when I got that wish
from the neighborhood Magic-User. He was
at the Wizard’s mart, inspecting some pickles
that were supposedly able to cure all warts,
when one of those killer frogs jumped out of
the pickle barrel, gnashing its teeth on the
Wizard’s shoulder (You with the big nose,
stop that snickering!).
“I quickly pulled out my sword and cut
the frog from the wizard. Luckily, it wasn’t the
kind that had poison glands.
“Well, right after the sorcerer got done
turning the merchant and his family into large
dragon flies, he took me by the shoulder and
said, ‘My son, is there anything I can do for
you?’
“I replied, ‘Sure, doc, how ‘bout a wish?’
“‘Done!’ he said. ‘And what, pray tell, do
you want?’
“‘How about a visit to an interesting
place?’ I said.
“And here I am, in this queer place (I said,
Stop laughing!), and I don’t even know what
you mean by. . .ah . . .homework. I’m not
even from this universe! Really I’m
not . . . . .really."