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Dragon	-	-	-	Dragon #36.5

Imagine this: You are on an adventure in the wilderness, everybody
in the party is feeling mellow and you’ve had a good adventure, your
pockets are crammed with gems and gold, and you’re enjoying the
sunshine and warm breezes

You happen to be joking around and you carelessly mention the
name of a greater demon, and eveyone gives you the eye but nothing
seems to happen so you relax again.

Your party walks around the bend in the road and THERE HE IS,
out of nowhere, complete with tentacles and chicken-feet and eveything, all eighteen terrifying feet of him, standing as far away from you as
the magazine you’re holding now. In a loud, deep, Doomsday roar he
thunders, “WHO CALLS UPON DEMOGORGON, PRINCE OF
DEMONS, RULER OF THE ABYSSAL, THE INVINCIBLE
HORROR?!?!”

What do you do next?
1. Say, "Whoops!"
2. Point to someone else in the party and say, "He did it!"
3. Spit in one his eyes (Paladins only, of course).
4. Draw your sword and fall on it.
5. Ask directions to the nearest lawful good Cleric or temple.
6. Cup your hand to your ear and say, "Eh?"
7. Pretend he's not there.
8. Act surprised and say, "What? Do you mean me?"
9. Make a joke about his mother: "I heard she was a Red Cross
volunteer and passed out cookies to Paladins' children."
(There is a 5% chance he will be impressed with your courage
and will only maim you. Otherwise . . .)
10. Snarl and say, "I did. ;What's it to ya?"
11. Grin and say "I did, 'cause I'm a wild and craaaazy guy!"
12. Climb the nearest tree (Note: this only delays the inevitable.)
13.Ask him for a present.
14. Convert to his religion immediately.
15. Try to convert him ("Hey, wanna be lawful good?")
16. Faint.
17. Pretend to faint
18. Attempt to summon a lawful good god; the cry may be shortened
to, "Good God!"
19. Offer up one of your companions as an involuntary sacrifice
(Warning: The group may already be considering you for this
honor).
20. Fake amnesia: "Did I do that? Wow, I can't remember. . ."
21. Pull pin on your Holy (Nuclear) Hand Grenade and release.
22. Run like hell (has same drawback as climbing a tree).
23. Call the Strategic Air Comand on that weird artifact of yours
and request an air strike.
24. Sink into the ground
25. Apologize for the mistake and ask him to leave.
26. Go berserk and bite him on the ankle (good option for hobbits
and gnomes).
27. Decide that this is a nightmare and try to wake yourself up.
28. Try to knock him down and step on his throat (if you happen to
be into street-fighting).
29.Assume standard nuclear attack defensive position, and kiss
your behind good-bye.
30. Do all of the above at least once.

This table may be used to determine random reactions of henchmen
and hirelings in situations such as this, if the DM so desires. In usual
game situations of this sort, everyone says, "Oh, shoot!" and either they
go nuts and attempt to attack him or they go to one of the above options.
Either way, it's still a sure ticket on the Grim Reaper Special, so watch
what you say.