Spell books	Punfighting	-	-	-
Dragon #120	-	Classes	-	Dragon

The Jester stepped into the street to face
his opponent, bells jangling with each step.
Women hurried their children inside. The
men-folk hid behind the nominal safety of
boxes and barrels lining the street. The
Jester had an unusually grim look about
him as he faced the Merryandrew at the
other end of the alley. The air was still.
The challenger made the first move.
“Draw!” he shouted.
 
 

The Jester grinned and pulled out a pad
and some charcoal. Quickly, he began to
sketch. . . .

In DRAGON® issue  #60  (and in the Best
of DRAGON Magazine anthology, Volume
4), Roger Moore described the jester NPC
class. This class is, shall we say, interesting. However, more than four years have
passed since this article was originally
printed, and it could use an update and
revision.

Spell books
A jester's spell books may not be read by
anyone other than another jester, because
of the design of the book and the way the
spells are inscribed therein. The books are
long and narrow (typically 14? x 2?), and
firmly bound at the spine. Only a very
small number of spells can be kept in each
book, due to the rather unique method of
writing used. Four spells of first or second
level, three spells of third or fourth level,
two of fifth or sixth, or just one seventh or
eighth level spell can be kept in each book

To read a spell, the jester holds the book
with his thumb on the edge of the pages.
He then bends the book, causing the pages
to quickly flip by. On the pages are small
drawings of a jester in the process of
casting a spell. The somatic and material
components are pictured very clearly,
with the verbal components given in coded ?speech balloons? When the pages are
flipped properly, a sort of animated cartoon shows how to cast the spell. After a
few minutes of flipping, the jester has
memorized the spell and can cast it.

Jesters can?t read magic works of other
classes any more than other classes can
read a jester?s spell books. The only way
they can add to their spell books (without
access to another jester?s books) is to observe someone actually casting the spell in
question. The jester must quickly mark the
movements on a scrap of paper, then
transfer them in final form to his or her
spell book. There is a 3% chance per level
of the spell that the jester will ?mis-scribe?
it, causing it to backfire each time it is
used. This chance is reduced by 3% for
each additional casting the jester watches.
The casting of a first-level spell must be
studied only twice to assure an error-free
transcription, while an eighth-level spell
must be observed nine times to be absolutely sure of it. However, the original
article?s 1% chance per level of miscasting
the spell still applies, no matter how well
the jester may have managed to copy it.

Punfighting
Ahh, now we come to the real crux of
this article: the jester?s ability to sling
puns! Phil Foglio touched lightly upon the
topic in his ?What?s New? comic strip in
issue #72.

Everybody has the ability to make puns,
but the jester class has elevated punning
to an art form. Punning is the measure of
success for jesters. The jester who can?t
pun is shunned by his peers, and he soon
decides that he doesn?t want to be a jester
after all. (Maybe he can work and become
a lower type of minstrel, like a bard; sure,
it?s a step down, but at least it?s something!)

To resolve a punfight, the attacker must
pick a topic. He then has the option of
giving either a ?straight line? or making a
pun. The defender rolls percentile dice. If
this roll is equal to or less than his current
punfighting ability, he can successfully
make a pun on this topic. The attacker
must make a returning pun. Each time
someone makes a pun (except for the
attacker?s optional opening pun), his punfighting ability is reduced by 5%. The
volley continues until one opponent is ?at
a loss for words? (fails his ability check).
That character then loses the fight.

Instead of merely returning a pun, either opponent can try to change the subject. This opens up a whole new realm of
puns and will reset both opponents punfighting abilities to their initial values. This
is a difficult maneuver and has cost many
a punfighter the battle. To  change the
subject, the punslinger must declare his
intentions  before rolling to see if he can
return the pun. Then he makes an ability
roll at one half his current ability score. If
he makes the roll, the subject is considered changed. If he fails, he still gets a
chance to return the pun, but his ability
score (for this volley only) is cut by one
half. If this roll is successful, the punfight
continues on the same topic. If unsuccessful, it?s all over.

At the DM?s option, the topic can play a
major factor in the fight. If a punslinger is
very familiar with a certain topic, the DM
may give him or her a bonus ( + 5% to
+ 15%) to his ability score. Likewise, an
unfamiliar topic can cause a penalty to the
score. Suddenly, getting on a good topic is
of utmost importance!

Another option is the punfighting form
of the ?critical hit.? The ?critical hit? is a
pun so bad that it stops the opponent dead
in his tracks and knocks him speechless.
Only true jesters (not any other classes)
can achieve a critical hit, and only if one?s
ability score is currently 35% or higher. In
these conditions, rolling an 01 on your
ability check means that a jester has come
up with the worst pun possible on the
subject. The opponent will be unable to
respond and the attacking jester will have
won the battle. The ?pun fallout? from a
critical hit can be devastating. Everyone
within earshot must save vs. paralyzation
or spend the entire next round groaning at
the atrocious wordplay. Note that a critical
hit in a punfight can turn the tide of a
nearby physical battle!

The punfight has one prime significance
for jesters. In order to rise to the 9th
(name) level, a Merryandrew must seek
out a Jester of greater level and defeat him
in a punfight. The Merryandrew initiates
the battle and chooses the first topic. If he
wins the battle, he can become a fullfledged Jester. If he loses, he must seek a
different high-level jester and try yet
again. A Merryandrew may not punfight
the same Jester more than once in an
attempt to gain the level.

I had thought of making the players act
out an actual punfight instead of simply
rolling dice. This really isn?t fair, though.
You don?t make the players of fighters
actually battle with swords do you? But, if
the players want to, go ahead and let them
make . . . umm, fools of themselves.

The Merryandrew impatiently waited
for the Jester to finish sketching. “Come
on! Get the lead out!”
‘Just a minute. I’m almost through.” He
held up the portrait. “There, what do you
‘ink? ”
“Looks good. I guess we can chalk one
up for you.”
The Jester smiled. The young one was
good; this could turn out to be a long
battle.