We have long disagreed with the premise of cursed magic items.
Making a magic item is time-consuming enough as it is without going to
the extra trouble of deliberately fashioning cursed items. The occasional
cursed scroll is a reasonable means of discouraging thieves from rummaging
in a wizard’s library, as is the inclusion of a few vials of poison in
the potion locker. But cursed swords, delusion rings and the like are just
too much.

So we propose that all magic items do exactly what they are
supposed to do, but sometimes they do other things as well. The
rationale I use is that something went wrong in the manufacturing
process, and some malignant spirit or influence was imbedded into the
item in question. Possibly it was attracted by the hoo-raw and mumbojumbo
inherent in the manufacturing process, and the usual wards and
such just didn’t work for some reason.

The following tables apply only to magic items that are usable more
than once, which excludes scrolls and potions. There is a basic 10%
chance that any given item has a defect with a die roll of 01 indicating
two defects. 90% of all defects are Quirks, 9% are Minor Curses and
1% are Curses. Referees should be careful not to let players simply
dump items they don’t want, but insist that they sell or trade them to
someone else. Note also the marvelous opportunities this presents for
urban encounters. Players could pose as thieves trying to fence stolen
goods, but what they’re really trying to do is get rid of some cursed item.
And DM’s could have a ball doing the same to players.

The tables as given are to be used with 20-sided dice. Players and
referees are encouraged to come up with their own quirks and curses,
and make a percentile dice table for this. Quirks are relatively harmless
but annoying things. Minor Curses are real inconveniences and Curses
are bad news. Note that none of them should be so bad as to cause a
speedy death to the character stuck with the cursed item. Aside from
reasons of fairness, player-characters can usually dump horrid items
rapidly and the curse will affect them only until they find a friendly cleric
or mage with a Remove Curse spell. Cursed magic items should still be
useful and even desirable.

Touching the item is irrelevant; what counts is possession. Character
is subject to defect as long as he has knowing possession of the item.

Quirks

1)	Eyes turn red and glow in the dark. Vision unaffected.
2)	Dogs, cats and small children fear you. Dogs growl at you, then yelp and run away if you look at them. Cats hiss, then squawl, spit, and run away if you look at them. Small children cry when you enter the room or come near them, then scream hysterically and try to climb up into the arms of the nearest adult if you look at them.
3)	Touch kills green plants.
4)	Character cannot enter temple or holy ground of a randomly chosen alignment other than the weapon’s, which may be the same as his own.
5)	Teenagers hero-worship or develop crushes on you and follow you everywhere. 10% chance per teenager. Parents will be very upset, and will probably have considerable influence if their kid had the leisure to meet you. It should be no more than remotely possible that a follower or henchman could be recruited in this fashion.
6)	All normal fires within a 10’ radius sputter and go out. Really big fires won’t go out but they will be significantly affected. Lava and such wholly unaffected.
7)	Skin color turns bright green.
8)	Aversion to bathing. -2 Charisma, -6 Beauty, Appearance never better than Grubby, smell bad.
9)	Grow light fur all over (same color as body hair). -1 saving throw vs. fire, plus 1 saving throw vs. cold.
10)	People always mistake the character for someone else when they first meet him.
11)	Character never recognizes celebrities (Conan, Elric, Thor) the first time he meets them.
12)	1% chance that persons of the same sex become infatuated with character.
13)	Touch rots small wooden objects in 1-6 days. Affects objects up to normal door in size.
14)	Foot problems (blisters, bunions, corns, ingrown toenails, etc). Marching speed reduced by half. Dungeon speed reduced by 2”.
15)	Gullible. reduce save vs. mental attack by 2.
16)	Vicious temper, -2 Charisma, often starts unnecessary fights.
17)	All beverages and liquids (including potions and holy water, but excluding drinking water and pure ethyl alcohol) within 5’ radius of character immediately go sour, curdle or become spoiled.
18)	Referee’s imagination.
19)	Roll twice, ignoring 19-20, to obtain two Quirks.
20.	Roll on Minor Curse table.

Minor Curses

1)	Random Xenophobia (unreasoning hatred of some other intelligent race or species).
2)	Random Xenophilia (unreasoning friendliness with another intelligent race or species).
3)	Develop highly unpopular sexual perversion (necktie party if you’re caught).
4)	Develop socially unacceptable sexual perversion (Charisma reduced to 3 if you are discovered—Hint: It has to do with graveyards).
5)	Particular species of animal hates you (DM’s discretion as to whether or not it attacks you on sight). Includes lycanthropes of that species.
6)	Character stutters at inconvenient times (DM’s discretion).
7)	Character is allergic to horses (running nose, sneezes, watering eyes, etc).
8)	Reduce randomly chosen prime requisite by three for duration of adventure.
9)	Reduce randomly chosen saving throw by three for duration of adventure.
10)	Satyriasis.
11)	Claustrophobia.
12)	Become a particular species of lycanthrope during full moons.
13)	Must eat and drink 6 times normal due to increased metabolism, also will age twice as fast as normal. Plus 2 to dexterity (19, not 18, maximum).
14)	Character becomes homosexual unless character already is, or is bisexual, in which cases character goes straight.
15)	Severe drinking problem.
16)	Compulsive Gambler, referee should make effects severe and debilitating as well as comical. Possibility that magic item with this curse would be used as a stake.
17)	Nearsighted, cannot use missile weapons, minus 1 in melee attack and defense unless wearing glasses. DM’s should have fun in creating sages specializing in optometry, legends regarding such sages, situations dealing with broken spectacles, etc.
18)	Referee’s Imagination.
19)	Roll twice, ignoring 19-20, to obtain two Minor Curses.
20)	Roll on Curse Table.

Curses

1)	Armor makes you itch uncontrollably.
2)	Extremely sadistic, as if anti-paladin
3)	Reduce all prime requisites by three.
4)	Reduce all saving throws by three.
5)	Lycanthropy at inconvenient times (chosen by referee).
6)	Reverse alignment or sex, depending on which will cause the most problems.
7)	Berserk during melee, only 50% chance per melee round after melee of calming down or will attack friends.
8)	Healing spells cast on character are minus 2 per die (minimum of one): regeneration never works.
9)	Minus 15% on all resurrection and system shock rolls.
10)	Absolute fear of a particular class of monster (all undead, any of the Goblin Races, etc.) and will always run in panic.
11)	Virulent carrier of a random lethal disease, doesn’t affect self.
12)	All damage dice inflicted by you. and healing spells cast on others, are reduced by two points each, but never below one point per die.
13)	Missile weapons always hit friends.
14)	Enemies and monsters never surprised, but you always are
15)	Coward; morale equivalent to level 0 soldier with no loyalty bonuses.
16)	Overwhelming desire for human flesh; must have it once per week or minus 1 from each prime requisite for each meal mised. Referee’s discretion as to what happens when you are discovered. Possible alignment change.
17)	Paranoid.
18)	Referee’s imagination.
19)	Roll twice, ignoring 19-20, to obtain two Curses.
20)	Roll once on each table, ignoring 19-20.

Example: Blork the Barbarian has a problem. He recently acquired
two magic items with severe drawbacks when he caught a thief picking
his pocket. The thief was overly quick to surrender and offer Blork his
magic dagger and Elven Boots if Blork would let him go. Blork does not
yet realize why the thief was so clumsy as to let himself be caught.

Blork already had a magic item that made him turn into a werewolf
during full moons. The dagger has a curse that will make him absolutely
terrified of all lycanthropes and the referee will have to decide how
Blork will react to that, given his own lycanthropy. The Elven Boots
have two defects: they make their wearer’s eyes glow red in the dark
and they spoil all booze within 5’. Blork is about to lose what few friends
he has.

More 'Quirks'
<The article has been corrected>

At just about the time that the February issue of The Dragon was
rolling off the presses, author Tom Holsinger called us with alterations
he wanted made to his article “Quirks and Curses” on pages 30-31.

Here they are, one issue later. We hope the absence of these
clarifications did not harm our readers’ enjoyment of the article.

In the list of Quirks, #15 should read: “Gullible. reduce save vs.
mental attack by 2.” The remainder of those two lines should be
deleted.

Also, delete the references to the DMG in Minor Curses #1, 2 and
15, and in Curse #15. Under Minor Curses #1 and 2, the following
definitions are added: Xenophobia is “unreasoning hatred of some
other intelligent race or species” and Xenophilia is “unreasoning friendliness
with another intelligent race or species.”

A line to be placed atop the story should have read “© 1980
Thomas Holsinger. ”

The copyright, as Mr. Holsinger explained, is because this article is
planned as part of his own fantasy role-playing game, which he is
designing and intends to publish. The game system grows out of his old
“house rules” for Dungeons & Dragons, along with some ideas he
suggested for inclusion in the Dungeon Masters Guide. This article was
taken straight from his suggestions for the DMG, but was written and
submitted to The Dragon before the author knew that some of his
suggestions did not make it into the final draft of the DMG; hence, the
references to the DMG which should not have appeared.