by Jonathan Edelstein
| Ronnell Maughdonnell | - |  |
- | Nonservus |
| Dragon | - | Hell | - | Dragon 120 |
“I despair, Alryk.
We have been wandering the Hells
for weeks now and
have yet to encounter one of those foul devils.
How your black sword
must thirst!”
“Aye, Moonbum, they always take to
their wings when they hear us screaming
like banshees — but we’ve worse to come,
I fear.?
“What be this great challenge, Alryk?”
“Ye olde iron rations are running out.
We’ll have to go back across the Styx for
more!”
Alryk's concern is legitimate and wide-spread.
Many an adventurer, in the midst
of a successful campaign against the evil
devils,
has been faced with the problem of
a declining food
supply. If the character
returns to the Prime Material Plane by
normal means, the devils will be waiting
for him upon his return to the Nine Hells.
Interdimensional teleporting is
dangerous,
and wishes and such are rare. A cleric
can
create food & water only so many times.
Therefore, the best solution seems to
be
finding food within the Nine Hells them--selves.
Recently, a copy of the Hells' gourmet
magazine, For Infernal Consumption,
made its way to the Prime Material Plane.
Included in it is a directory of the major
eateries of the Nine Hells.
The only reasonably cheap place in the
Hells is a chain of restaurants known
as
Maughdonnell?'. Run by a devil known
variously as Reynaud or Ronnell, branches
of this tavern can be found all over the
Infernal Realms. According to the sage
Westminster, it lives up to its motto
of
being "pseudopod-lickin' good!? Finding
such an establishment is no great problem
-- simply look for two sulfur-colored
arches linked at the base, like two hills.
Indeed, Maughdonnell's is the most commonly
patronized restaurant in the Lower
Planes.
There is a convenient animal tieup in
front of each eatery. However, it is best
not leave horses here, since this is where
each restaurant gets food for its most
finicky eaters. Within the tavern, charac-ters
are greeted by a nonservus (see the
description at the end of the article).
Any-one under 7' tall is seated at a children?s
table, where he is able to get a small
prize
such as a costume hellstone with an order
of 10 gp or more. Children's dishes are
generally accompanied by a side order
of
kherezdal stalks and a pureed mugzhuc
shake -- larger beings and adults must
order separately.
The staples of this fast-food chain are
stench
kow burger and filet o' sahuagin.
If
a character does not specify that the
burger be from a steak, he may develop
violent cramps for two days (save vs.
poison for one day, with effects in either
case as a symbol of pain).
Steak
burgers cost 5 gp above and beyond the
base price and 8 gp for "normal" burgers.
Kherezdal stalks, a powerful laxative,
are
available on the side for 4 gp. As drinks
go, cheap beer (2 gp per gallon-sized
mug)
is the only alternative to the 3-gp, germ-
carrying mugzhuc shakes. Items beyond
this selection are only available with
a
bribe of 20 gp, and they necessitate a
wait
of 1-6 hours.
Diabolic regulars at these places do not
take kindly to human intrusion. Since
all
weapons must be checked on entry, fights
are finished using magick and food.
Mugzhuc shakes which hit targets in a
30'
range will blind them for one round and
cause 2 hp of damage in the same round
from violent retching (save vs. poison
to
avoid). However, anyone between the
attacker and the TARGET is splattered
for half effect, whether or not the shake
hits.
Rock-hard stench kow burgers hit as sling
bullets (90' range), and the teeth in
a filet
o' sahuagin
can be thrown as normal
darts. If magick is used, restaurant property
must not be harmed. Otherwise, 2
nonservi attack each offending character
and throw them out into the local garbage
pit. The unfortunate adventurers then
take 2-8 hp damage from sharp bones
before passing out for 3-12 hours from
the
smell (no save).
Though some knowledgeable sages call
Maughdonnell's "Juiblex's
home away from
home," Westminster insists that it is
the
Nine Hells' best choice for hungry human
adventurers. Indeed, for those without
the
means to go to fancy places like "13"
it is
the only choice.
RONNELL
MAUGHDONNELL
Count of the Hells
FREQUENCY Unique
NO. APPEARING: 1
ARMOR CLASS -4
MOVE: 18"
HIT DICE: 116 hit points
% IN LAIR: 10%
TREASURE TYPE: H
NO. OF ATTACKS: 2
DAMAGE/ATTACK: By weapon type or
2-9/2-9
SPECIAL ATTACKS: See below
SPECIAL DEFENSES: See below
MAGIC RESISTANCE: 80%
INTELLIGENCE: Exceptional
ALIGNMENT: Lawful evil
SIZE: L (13' tall)
PSIONIC ABILITY: 208
Attack/Defense Modes:
All/All
Ronnell, or Reynaud, known as the Hells'
answer to The
Slime Lord, is the owner
and director of the Hells? only fast-food
service. He desperately wants a higher
status as lieutenant to an arch-devil,
and
he will do almost anything to become one.
He customarily fights with a large +2
red
sausage which does 7-32 hp damage on a
successful hit. He can create a 10?-diameter
pool of slime on command that
acts as oil of slipperiness, and he radiates
an aura of fast-food mania that causes
characters to save vs. spells to become
extremely hungry (as per a chime of hun-ger)
and extremely silly (as per a chaos
spell, save that all attacks made are
totally
ineffective).
Ronnell can apply the following spell-like
powers, one at a time and one per round:
pyrotechnics,
fireball, dispel magic, ani-mate dead, jump, haste (self), blink, hold
person or monster, tongues, teleport,
and
(fulfill another's) limited wish. Once
per
day, he can use a symbol of discord. Ron-nell
can summon 1-4 nonservi with a 55%
chance of success, and he regenerates
1
hp every two rounds. He is totally immune
to poisons and acids.
FREQUENCY: Common
NO. APPEARING: 2-8
ARMOR CLASS: 1
MOVE: 3"
HIT DICE: 7+2
% IN LAIR: 65%
TREASURE TYPE: Nil
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 3-12
SPECIAL ATTACKS: See below
SPECIAL DEFENSES: See below
MAGIC RESISTANCE: 25%
INTELLIGENCE: Low
ALIGNMENT: Lawful evil
SIZE: L (7 1/2' tall)
PSIONIC ABILITY: Nil
The race of nonservi staffs the great
Maughdonnel fast-food chain. They are
only found working there or gathering
supplies from the lands near each restaurant
(such as hitching posts, sleeping bags,
etc.).
bags, etc.). In the latter case, 4-16
of these
devils will be present. In their lair,
trea-sure is in the form of a cash box contain-ing type B monies. Nonservi
can bite, but
they also attack by throwing boiling oil,
and they are immune to all forms of heat
and poison.
Nonservi can use the following spell-like
powers, one at a time, once per round:
command,
produce flame, pyrotechnics,
telekinese 3,000-gp weight, and summon
another nonservus with a 25% chance of
success, twice per day. They regenerate
1 hp per round.
Nonservi appear to be lizard-headed
humanoids wearing bright-colored uni-forms.
These uniforms have tags on them
stating each devils name (which are al-ways
wrong). Nonservi have the equiva-lent of 18/00 strength and are able to
fight
unarmed with great facility. It is rumored
that nonservi are either the reincarnated
spirits of evil cooks or are abishai who
offended Tiamat.
